I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
