My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
vagina is talking i cant
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize