Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize