So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
