i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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