piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's blow job season.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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