Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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