I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize