i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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