Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
