i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
