To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize