ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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