there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
