If i come over, it means nothing
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
