How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
