what day is it and did you see me today?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
