Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
