I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
