At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
