I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
