Say something about gay babies.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
