he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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