Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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