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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  dollar beers will do that to you.

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• (323): View more from California

  Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.

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• (310): View more from California

  I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night

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• (310): View more from California

  Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.

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• (310): View more from California

  Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)

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