I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
