I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
