that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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