Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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