Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
