I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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