god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize