i don't like sucking hair
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
