my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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