They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
