he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
