So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
