i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
