did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
