Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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