My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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