You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's rum buckets o'clock
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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