Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
