I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
