Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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