i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
