it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
