she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
