Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize