my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sacagawea was the original milf.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
