3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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