who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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