we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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