I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
