Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
