Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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