dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
