Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
