so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
