my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So vagazzling was a success
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
