i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
