I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
