Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
