Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
