yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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