I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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